Drive-by updating

I'm two days away from flitting off back home for a week, but I didn't want to go a month without posting anything and particularly not given the cliffhanger of my last post.

So this won't be terribly intro or... outro... spective, just a quick update of what's up, what's new, what's going on.

First off, a welcome to the world is in order. Yesterday morning, at around 9am, the as of yet unnamed first son of my brother and sister-in-law came yowling into the world, thereby fulfilling my dad's reason for existence by making him a grandfather at last. Given that my sister-in-law was working until only a week or so ago, expect to see the tot in full climbing gear, peaking Mount Rundle within the next few days.

Okay, now me.

Decision 2007: Korea, Toronto or Mexico actually turned out to be fairly easy. Toronto was quickly nixed as, while I miss my friends (and the sushi) terribly, there is in fact very little reason for me to return at this point.

So I pursued Korea, sending out resumes and receiving a flood of responses (I'm either a wicked cool teacher or there is tremendous need for English teachers in that part of the world...). I made plans to travel Mexico for a few weeks before leaving. I found and interviewed for the perfect job - adults, big city, full time, good pay, prepaid flight, medical coverage, apartment, by the coast. I was all set.

Then the school said, "So, do you want the job?" and everything inside me spontaneously liquified.

How many of you have been partial to my "flip a coin" strategy of making life decisions? It's not the usual flip dealio, it's about paying attention to the visceral response when the answer comes up. Visceral responses very very rarely lie, I've found.

I realized I'm not ready to leave Mexico. Not yet.

And so I'm not.

Nor, by the way, am I leaving my job.

April/May was tough, as those of you who received my weepy phone calls and ranting emails can attest to. The sudden dissolution of my home for reasons that, months later, I still couldn't even begin to guess at, left me rather lost. Sadness turned to bitterness turned to hostility, and everything around me and inside me tarnished. I slipped into behaviour patterns I swore two years ago I would never revisit.

But maybe it's what I needed, with all apologies to all its victims. In order to pull myself out of the funk, I made an effort to do the following:

1. Go through a major attitude shift about my life.

2. End my extremely unhealthy, totally unfulfiling "relationship".

3. Find a home where I feel safe and welcome. (Which is also conveniently walking distance to work, and MY GOD is it ever wonderful to not have to take Mexico City public transit every day.)

4. Identify the career future I want, and pinpoint how the now clearly leads to it.

5. Have a wonderfully productive conversation with my current boss in which I not only manage to successfully argue my value to the company (and thus deserved raise to a liveable wage) but also to take on the responsibility and challenge that will make this job interesting and rewarding.

The depression has passed, I'm pleased to report, and those I have the tremendous fortune to be seeing next week in Toronto will be spared any knuckle-gnawing angst. I feel... well, I feel good.

I wondered, during the glummer days, whether I have what it takes to do this. Why make things so much harder?, I thought.

But, really, why makes things easy? Look at this amazing city... Is it not all worth it, deep down?